If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such read more

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.