I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.