Rodney Dangerfield

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I haven't spoken to my wife in years. I didn't want to interrupt her.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May read more

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.