Rodney Dangerfield

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so is ugliness

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

My wife and I were happy for 20 years. Then we met.

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

I'm so ugly - My father carries around a picture of the kid who came with his wallet

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.

I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet.