When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.