My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.

I am the only person in the world I should like to know thoroughly.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I can't believe that out of 10,000 sperm, you were the quickest.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.