You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.