I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.