Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.