A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.