Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.