My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

"I can't" isn't a reason to give up, it's a reason to try harder

"I can't" isn't a reason to give up, it's a reason to try harder

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

He that will not reason is a bigot; he that cannot reason is a fool; and he that dares not read more

He that will not reason is a bigot; he that cannot reason is a fool; and he that dares not reason is a slave.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only read more

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.