Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.