I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only read more

Mistakes are a part of being human. Appreciate your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way. Unless it's a fatal mistake, which, at least, others can learn from.