There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.