Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.