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The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

by W. C. Fields Found in: Funny Quotes,
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When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

by Richard Dawkins Found in: Funny Quotes,
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You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

by Tommy Cooper Found in: Driving Quotes, Funny Quotes,
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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

by Victor Borge Found in: Funny Quotes,
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There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

by Henry A. Kissinger Found in: Funny Quotes,
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A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

by Erma Bombeck Found in: Funny Quotes,
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By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

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I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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