I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.