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As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.
There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.
Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more
Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans
I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.
I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
