An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.