When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?