A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such read more

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”