Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.