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When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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There is no man so good, who, were he to submit all his thoughts and actions to the laws, would read more

There is no man so good, who, were he to submit all his thoughts and actions to the laws, would not deserve hanging ten times in his life.

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I pull you from your tower, take away your pain. Show you all the beauty you possess, if you only read more

I pull you from your tower, take away your pain. Show you all the beauty you possess, if you only let yourself believe.

by Sarah Mclachlan Found in: Beauty Quotes,
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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

by Rodney Dangerfield Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Can one desire too much of a good thing?

Can one desire too much of a good thing?

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Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

by Paris Hilton Found in: Dumb Quotes, Funny Quotes,
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Thou who hast
The fatal gist of beauty.

Thou who hast
The fatal gist of beauty.

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Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

by George Burns Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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