Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.