Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such read more

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.