Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.