An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.