A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such read more

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.