If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.