Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.