Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.