Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage";.

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced "mirage";.

Love is blind,but marriage is an eye opener.

Love is blind,but marriage is an eye opener.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds--they mature slowly.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse - as a man shoots himself.

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

Marriage is a mistake every man should make.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.