A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

Lasting harmony with a woman (was) an undertaking in which I
twice failed rather disgracefully.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.