I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn