Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.