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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.
If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.
I speak two languages, Body and English.
I speak two languages, Body and English.
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.
Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.
The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more
I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."
