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Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more
Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.
If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.
If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.
A line is a dot that went for a walk.
A line is a dot that went for a walk.
By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn
By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.
Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.
Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
