I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?