Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.