There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.