Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.