Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.