The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.