Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'