Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.