I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.