Erma Bombeck

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but read more

Remember, people will judge you by your actions, not your intentions. You may have a heart of gold -- but so does a hard-boiled egg.

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

Dreams have only one owner at a time. That's why dreamers are lonely.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.

Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other.