Erma Bombeck

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

I will buy any creme, cosmetic, or elixir from a woman with a European accent.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance

My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.

Vacation is what you take when you can't take what you've been taking any longer.

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a read more

When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, "I used everything you gave me.