A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.