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Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.
Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”
After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more
Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.
I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.
I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
