I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.