I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.