If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

If it weren't for electricity we'd all be watching television by candlelight.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater suggest that he wear a tail.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.