I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such read more

A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a minute. He may not seem such a good friend after telling.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.