I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck read more

Wearing a turtleneck is like being strangled by a really weak guy, all day. Wearing a backpack and a turtleneck is like a weak midget trying to bring you down.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

There is no pleasure in having nothing to do; the fun is having lots to do and not doing it.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.