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I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

by Rita Rudner Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

by Janeane Garofalo Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

by Bob Hope Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

by Oscar Wilde Found in: Funny Quotes, Marriage Quotes,
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After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

by William S. Burroughs Found in: Funny Quotes,
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It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

by Diana Vreeland Found in: Funny Quotes,
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By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

By all means let's be open-minded, but not so open-minded that our brains drop out.rn

by Richard Dawkins Found in: Funny Quotes,
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