I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.