I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”