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    Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

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  36  /  37  

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

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  8  /  9  

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

by Delmore Schwartz Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  11  /  9  

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  21  /  18  

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

by Paul Klee Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  23  /  25  

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

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  18  /  10  

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

by Tom Snyder Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  13  /  17  

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

by Pj O'rourke Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  32  /  23  

I speak two languages, Body and English.

I speak two languages, Body and English.

by Mae West Found in: Funny Quotes, Language Quotes,
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  11  /  11  

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

by Jean Anouilh Found in: Funny Quotes,
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