Maxioms Pet

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    Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

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  48  /  22  

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

by Red Skelton Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  20  /  29  

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

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  15  /  18  

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

by Oscar Wilde Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  16  /  21  

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

by Rita Rudner Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  24  /  29  

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

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  6  /  12  

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

by Dan Quisenberry Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  4  /  18  

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

by John Wilmot Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  48  /  20  

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

by Groucho Marx Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  9  /  20  

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

by Milton Berle Found in: Funny Quotes,
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