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  11  /  21  

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  26  /  23  

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

by John Lennon Found in: Funny Quotes, Planning Quotes,
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  34  /  21  

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

by Janeane Garofalo Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  21  /  29  

Evil is whatever distracts.

Evil is whatever distracts.

by Franz Kafka Found in: Evil Quotes,
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  22  /  31  

Evil events from evil causes spring.

Evil events from evil causes spring.

by Found in: Evil Quotes, Miscellaneous Quotes,
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  24  /  31  

Remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers read more

Remember that all through history the way of truth and love has always won. There have been tyrants and murderers and for a time they seem invincible but in the end, they always fall -- think of it, ALWAYS.

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A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

by Rodney Dangerfield Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  10  /  34  

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be read more

It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly.

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Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

by W. C. Fields Found in: Funny Quotes,
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