Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?