Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess.

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough read more

When you go into court you are putting your fate into the hands of twelve people who weren’t smart enough to get out of jury duty.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans