In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are read more

Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.