Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.

I was a vegetarian until I started leaning toward the sunlight.