I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.