Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back