When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.