After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.