You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

You grow up the day you have your first real laugh -- at yourself.

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another read more

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.