I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

The better I get to know men, the more I find myself loving dogs.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.