Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.