I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.