As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

As a child my family's menu consisted of two choices: take it or leave it.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The bikini is the most important thing since the atom bomb.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

The chief function of the body is to carry the brain around.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more

An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

Once, during Prohibition, I was forced to live for days on nothing but food and water.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.