You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said read more

You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said 'Parking Fine.'

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

Young men want to be faithful, and are not; old men want to be faithless, and cannot.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.