I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

I went to a fight the other night, and a hockey game broke out.

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

Life is one fool thing after another whereas love is two fool things after each other.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.