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If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

by Cassandra Clare Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  18  /  23  

Avoid inquisitive persons, for they are sure to be gossips, their ears are open to hear, but they will not read more

Avoid inquisitive persons, for they are sure to be gossips, their ears are open to hear, but they will not keep what is entrusted to them.

by Horace Found in: Gossip Quotes,
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  21  /  18  

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

by Paul Klee Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  4  /  17  

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

by Kin Hubbard Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.

Popularity is exhausting. The life of the party almost always winds up in a corner with an overcoat over him.

by Wilson Mizner Found in: Popularity Quotes,
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There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.

by Pj O'rourke Found in: Funny Quotes,
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  19  /  10  

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Tell tales out of school.

Tell tales out of school.

by John Heywood Found in: Gossip Quotes,
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To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

by Minna Antrim Found in: Funny Quotes,
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