I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was read more

A girl phoned me the other day and said... 'Come on over, there's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

What you get free costs too much.

What you get free costs too much.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.