The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

There's no half-singing in the shower, you're either a rock star or an opera diva.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.

Friends are like bras: close to your heart and there for support.