There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

Any kid will run any errand for you, if you ask at bedtime.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

When choosing between two evils, I always like to try the one I've never tried before.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more

Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

I admit that: my wife is outspoken, but by whom?

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.