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Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself
Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.
Actually I don't remember being born, it must have happened during one of my black outs.
A line is a dot that went for a walk.
A line is a dot that went for a walk.
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in read more
An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have. The older she gets the more interested he is in her.
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story read more
Life begins at 40 - but so do fallen arches, rheumatism, faulty eyesight, and the tendency to tell a story to the same person, three or four times.
If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.
If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you are now.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running.
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans
Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.
