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  51  /  44  

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

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  21  /  18  

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

A line is a dot that went for a walk.

by Paul Klee Found in: Funny Quotes,
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When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

Just because nobody complains doesn't mean all parachutes are perfect.

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  50  /  56  

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is read more

I can stand brute force, but brute reason is quite unbearable. There is something unfair about its use. It is hitting below the intellect.

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I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

by Bob Hope Found in: Funny Quotes,
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In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

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There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

by Henry A. Kissinger Found in: Funny Quotes,
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