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Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

by Mitch Hedberg Found in: Funny Quotes,
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We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always read more

We are not put on earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.

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I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

by Bob Hope Found in: Funny Quotes,
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If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

by Sam Levenson Found in: Funny Quotes,
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I have made decisions that turned out to be wrong, and went back and did it another way, and still read more

I have made decisions that turned out to be wrong, and went back and did it another way, and still took less time than many who procrastinated over the original decision. Your brain is capable of handling 140, 000 million bits of information in one second, and if you take hours or days or weeks to reach a vital decision, you are short-circuiting your most valuable property.

by Jerry Gillies Found in: Relationships Quotes,
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Rabbi Zusya said that on the Day of Judgment, God would ask him, not why he had not been Moses, read more

Rabbi Zusya said that on the Day of Judgment, God would ask him, not why he had not been Moses, but why he had not been Zusya.

by Walter Kaufmann Found in: Relationships Quotes,
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Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change read more

Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.

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Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.

Forgive yourself for your faults and your mistakes and move on.

by Les Brown Found in: Relationships Quotes,
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I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

by Dan Quisenberry Found in: Funny Quotes,
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