To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

To know one's self is wisdom, but not to know one's neighbors is genius.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

When someone hands you a flyer, it's like they're saying here you throw this away.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.