After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

After one look at this planet any visitor from outer space would say, “I want to see the manager.”

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Half the lies they tell about me aren't true.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.

In all matters of opinion, our adversaries are insane.