I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

I have a wonderful make-up crew. They're the same people restoring the Statue of Liberty.

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what read more

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I can whistle with my fingers, especially if I have a whistle.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.