If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Suppose you were an idiot and suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.