Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

Existentialism means that no one else can take a bath for you.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them read more

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're goin', and hook up with them later.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

Rice is great if you're really hungry and want to eat two thousand of something.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

By persistently remaining single a man converts himself into a permanent public temptation.

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with read more

Love is like a booger. You keep picking at it until you get it, then wonder what to do with it.