There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

There cannot be a crisis next week. My schedule is already full.

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like read more

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was "You'll never find anyone like me again!" I'm thinking, "I should hope not! If I don't want you, why would I want someone like you."

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

If we're not supposed to eat animals, how come they're made out of meat?

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I've seen the future and it's much like the present only longer.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

I have a mind to join a club and beat you over the head with it.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

This suspense is terrible. I hope it will last.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I'm here and I'm ready. They're not. Bring it.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.

I buy expensive suits. They just look cheap on me.