I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children and no theories.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal.

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not so sure

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back

Borrow money from a pessimist - they don't expect it back