I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

I love Mickey Mouse more than any woman I have ever known.

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Have you ever noticed what golf spells backwards?

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

Experience is what you have after you've forgotten her name.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

I like intelligent women. When you go out, it shouldn't be a staring contest.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

The safe way to double your money is to fold it over once and put it in your pocket.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I once saw a forklift lift a crate of forks. And it was way to literal for me.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I didn't like the play, but then I saw it under adverse conditions - the curtain was up.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.

I drank some boiling water because I wanted to whistle.